So what have you been upto since New Year? I have been reading and trying to stick to my reading goals. Last year, I had barely pushed myself to overcome the reading slump. But this year, I am going to seriously do it. Because a writer must read, although those days of reading carefree, in abandon, are long gone.
I finished two books in 2020, both of which I had reviewed on Instagram and my Facebook Page. The first one is Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman. The other, which I completed two days ago, is When I Hit You or The Portrait of the Writer as A Young Wife by Meena Kandasamy. And I am glad I read them both.
I am not gonna drag for today’s post. The previous post on Self Confidence was long since it had the introductory part, too. If you are new here, do sign up on the blog by submitting your email in the subscribe column in the sidebar on your right. And checkout the previous post Writing Your Novel – The Primer – Part 1 if you have not read it, because you are going to need continuity for the topic.
So, the second ingredient in The Primer – Self-Doubt.
What is self-doubt? I don’t intend to define it in formal terms. It is easier to clarify it through the monologues every writer has had at some point of time.
The scenarios go like this, to bring up a few:
This quote has been wrongly attributed to Aristotle and most of the images you will find on the Internet with this quote will have Aristotle credited for it. But anyway, it is so deep and meaningful. There's one way to avoid criticism as a writer - to not write. And that is not an option for you, is it? :)
If none of the above are reasons for getting stuck, close that file or put away that manuscript. Take a book to read. Go on a trip. Bake something. Give yourself some edible treat. And watch movies – yes, it is such a great way to exercise your imagination, to bring out storytelling. Do another creative hobby if there is anything else you are good at. I paint when I’m brain-fagged, it helps immensely to unwind.
Some people have tons of stories in their head, and they ask me: “How do we begin?”
My answer is: Try writing.
Did you just think: “That’s a dumb answer that escapes the actual question.”?
I know. Only that it is not. Because, before writing the story in your mind, you have to find a few things about yourself, like:
And these questions can be answered only if you “Try Writing.”
So, wrapping it up on self-doubt with a note on it:
Self-doubt is a tricky thing. Like salt is in a curry. Like self-confidence is – on the other side of the coin. Too much self-doubt will barricade your very essence as a writer – your writing will never see the world and vice versa. No self-doubt will lead to over-confidence, which is pretty suicidal too. Because, you will not be able to improve or judge your own writing, which is a dangerous state to be in.
Self-doubt is nourishing in little quantities. In healthy portions, it makes you:
When Self-Doubt tells you: “You are not perfect and you will make mistakes, you are not good enough.”, flip the coin and let Self-Confidence come up and tell you: “You are human, you are bound to make mistakes and you are not perfect in everything, but that’s okay. If you are not good enough, practicing will make you better and that is enough as long as you keep striving.” Apply this balance throughout your doubts and you are good to go.
So what are other instances of self-doubt in you as a writer? What monologues other than the ones I have listed do you hear from yourself everyday? How do you fight self-doubt and how do you balance it? Let me know. :)
Love and Peace, Sana
Reading now: All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr (Winner of Pulitzer Prize for fiction 2015)
A blog on the art of writing and life as a writer.