Some Don'ts and Little Things of Joy

Onto the little things of joy first - well, the first one of it! Guess what?!

Sandcastles went all the way up to the Shortlist for ARL Literary Awards for Best Author, 2018. Being one among the last five to compete for the award among a hundred and more titles is the best thing to happen to this debut novel of mine!

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Here goes the Certificate of Appreciation for getting nominated!

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Some Rant and Don'ts!

Although I have had a few moments of glory and pride this past month, I had been overworked and slightly off the grid due to personal reasons. Writing fell back really bad and my work in progress was literally crawling on all four. These episodes are a part of my life and I do get over it from time to time. And this time, when I finally felt better, I wrote a short piece about why it is okay to be depressed at times and how it feels during such phases.

I, for one, have been at it since long. Perhaps since my late teens. And poetry and writing in general was catharsis and therapy for me. Major life changes can be huge setbacks when we are in a position facing it. And here's my two cents about what someone who goes through such a major life change and is having a hard time adjusting to it and even accepting it, doesn't want from you:

• Don't tell them that it is a small conflict - because priorities differ and so does the amount of conflict one can tolerate.
• Don't tell them life is not fair, or life is a blend of all that. Don't ask them: "If not for the ups and downs, what is life?" Chances are they know it already. Knowing it again doesn't help much.
• Don't tell them that there are worse things out there - because, seriously, in conflict, shoes matter and when you are not in the shoes of the devastated, you really cannot say what is better or worse for them.
• Don't tell them things get better - what if it doesn't work that way because again, situations and priorities differ?
• Don't force them to share or open up everything with you or anybody for that matter -  sharing works for some but for some others, being left alone is the best way to deal with it.
• Lastly, but the most importantly, do not - DO NOT - assume everything is about you. Do not assume their depression, devastation or distraught has something to do with you and DO NOT ask them if they are upset because of you - if it is about you, you must know it yourself, you shouldn't need them to tell you. The last thing they want is people taking responsibility for the wrong things and the creation of wrong assumptions.

This does away with almost everything you would try with someone who is depressed. And you are probably wondering, well, what is this woman thinking? Or why is this woman thinking for us?

I am thinking for myself. And giving you the shoes you need to wear before you jump the gun with solutions to other people's problems (which is a sugarcoated form of judging). Here's what works almost always: 
Respect their spatial needs. Be there when they ask for it - that is if you want to be.

Well, now, peace!

The Art of Acceptance - there's my latest article on Acceptance and Contentment at The Post India published today. Give it a read although mostly, I wrote it as self-help. ;) What if it helped one more person? :)

And the next best thing to happen was....

Recently, I embarked on one of my all time dreams - apart from being an author - I started painting. I always cowered from getting to know the canvas, brushes and paints like acrylics and oil paints. I confined to the limitations of sketching pencils, colour pencils and lately a bit of oil pastels. When I finally touched the canvas with paints, the unwinding effect of using art for therapy was immense. Believe me, splashing some colours really does away with some amount of distraught when you are not at your prime. And when the writer's block (yes, it happened) came up very badly, this helped to purge. That is my first seascape. :) Pretty rad for starters, right? Checkout my instagram (click the icon on top or bottom of the site) for my previous works. New ones on the way!

So that's about the news. I post all updates on Social Media on a regular basis. However, getting around to writing a blog post is still a monthly or longer process for me. But then, my current project is progressing very well and I am racing towards the end of it.
As usual, however, reading is falling behind. And now I've got one more thing to do - art. Whatever it takes to fill the emptiness inside. :)

Have a lovely day ahead, all!

Love and peace,
Sana

Latest article: The Art of Acceptance